I fell for him again. He broke my heart again. I can admit it on xanga because no one reads this anymore. It was hard to deal with........but now it feels like none of it ever happened, which is a weird feeling. It all feels as though it were a dream, but I feel emptier after that dream. It's not that I still like him, I may still have feelings, my heart doesn't know, but I mainly miss the friend I found in him. I got along fine without him at the beginning of the year, I'm living fine without him now. I have the most AMAZING friends. They make my life the insanely blessed creation it is, well them and God. I know the right guy is out there for me and that if I'm patient and remain faithful all will be right in my life.

In God we trust.

Thank you Lord for all you've given me and I pray for those who are less fortunate.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Keeping Faith- K

A lot has happened since junior year began. I am so close to getting everything i've wanted in high school (a relationship) and i'm that much closer to losing it. Well I give up for now. I won't bother him anymore, I'll give him his space and see what happens. I saw that Monica had posted this and I really liked it, considering the mood I'm in today: exhausted and confused.

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you
want.

FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.

FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the
eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk..

FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear
someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

I love the song "The Way" by Clay Aiken. I'm not a huge Clay fan, but that song gets me everytime. Because that's what I want and that's what I thought I had found......

Dear God, you got me this far. Let me let go for a while. Let me think and make sure this is right. Please Lord, thank you for all my blessings, I just want this one more, but isn't that the story of my life........

Keeping Faith- K

Things I love........

My room- its the only place I can blast music and sing as loud and bad as possible and still feel like a star. My parents know- they hear music on every night at midnight.

My car- these are in no particular order, because I'm not completely materialistic, but I love driving and singing- but my room still wins in the blast and sing category.

Butterflys in your stomach- that feeling you get when you hear a hot guy sing- like I'm listening to now.

I love waking up to the sun in the morning and not being rushed by an alarm clock but waking up well rested.

I love the middle roll of Pillsbury orange cinnamon rolls.

I love dancing- just letting loose and feeling like a star. I love dancing from my heart because even if I mess up then- everything was worth it.

I LOVE love. Romance is my life. I want the perfect guy- thats why i havent dated anyone in a while- I'm not really open- i guess.

Musicals and MUSIC- i live by music, I think life would be better with background music and ive always wanted my life to be its own musical.

Things I hate.........

Not having someone to like. I always want a crush.

When I don't get the guy and I get all obssessed over movie stars- I feel pathetic because I'm so obssessed and its not like they'll ever like me because I'm being creepy.

Not knowing what's going to happen- in movies, books and life in general.

Kansas- I hate being here, I want to be famous in California meeting a cute boy right now in the acting field. I have one in mind- but once again, I'm obssessive.

Homework- absolutely detest the thing. I wish I had a tutor and just did the classwork, I don't mind sitting around and learning the lesson one on one and then listening to music and doing the work, I just hate the classes. I don't know.

I wrote this list about 6 months ago and found that it is still true- except for the becoming famous part. I'm all right just being who I am if the one person I want to like me will care about ME. ugh. But other than that my life is great- I have been so blessed and I will not let one boy ruin that for me. Thanks God for everything. amen.

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One of my good friends who makes me feel special no matter what- Thanks Eric.

Time for a new entry. I'm 16- yay! My birthday was fun and my mom planned a good surprise party for me. Um......Tech Week has been insane. We've been out until 1-2 am EVERY night. Wow. But hopefully it won't rain tonight and we'll get a decent run through in because we OPEN tomorrow- holy crap- I'm getting nervous. I'm so excited to perform- I LOVE performing.

Um.......life is going good and I know that I have been so blessed with the people God has put in my life. I just always seem to be missing that one boy- the boyfriend and right now it makes me a little sad. Grrr. I don't like relying on guys.

Birdie opens TOMORROW.
July 28-30, August 3-6
Ticket booth opens @ 6:30
Gates open @ 7
Show begins @ 8:30

Please come! Leave comments. Love.

Love them.

Wow. These weeks are going by too fast soon summer will be over- that will be a sad day. I'm ready to be SIXTEEN (11 days) but I'm certainly not ready for junior year. I want summer to go on for another few months, not only because I hate homework and stress, but also because my best friends for this summer and the end of last year are my dance and theatre friends. I have the most fun with them, don't get me wrong, I still love my school friends and have fun with them too.............I don't know. Ugh.

TWO weeks until Bye Bye Birdie opens and I expect anyone who still reads this to come.

Shawnee Mission Theatre in the Park
Gates open at 7pm
Show begins at 8:30pm (but it's normally a mad dash for good seats so come early)
You bring your own chairs and blankets and coolers and food
Come back stage after the show and say hi!

This is for Alex Johnson- I look terrible in the picture because I can't do a "gangsta" face. haha. Gina and I were working on that in our hip hop dance. Anyways this picture is for you Alex- im so excited to see you again and I'm glad we met this summer!

hahaha- told you it was a bad face.

God Bless. Keeping Faith.

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